


Did you fall? Or did you let go?

by apple_cidre



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Gen, Implied Suicide Attempt, Partial vent, Sub-conscience Connor, Trees, help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up, i had a rough day today, okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 12:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18388820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple_cidre/pseuds/apple_cidre
Summary: words fails woords fail





	Did you fall? Or did you let go?

**Author's Note:**

> words fails woords fail

“How did you break your arm?” sub-conscience Connor asked him, his voice low and his eyes sympathetic.

“I fell,” Evan replied sharply, “what does this have to do anything? I going to stop this. Stop lying to everyone.” He didn’t like Connor’s attempts to make him keep working on the Connor Project and everything else.

“If you want to stop lying, answer me. How did you break your arm?” Connor repeated himself.

“I fell.” Evan didn’t want to think of what happened. The memories hurt too much.

“Did you?”

“Yes, I did!” he snapped, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.

“Did you fall? Or did you  _ let go _ ?”

“I-“ he stopped. Suddenly, Evan was brought back to the day he broke his arm.

_ The year was extremely hard. His mom was too busy to be at home a lot, and he was constantly ignored at school, except for when Jared and other teenagers teased him, so Evan was lonely. Connor and Evan had the same class first period, so they were walking close to each other in the hallways. Someone whispered “Aww, look. Two freaks with each other” at them and his friends snickered. Connor turned to pick a fight with them, and Evan timidly walked to his next class, their words hurting as much as knives. _

_ Evan made a fool of himself at Potbelly, and he ran out of the building while he was laughed at. He ran until he reached the place he was looking for.  _

_ He looked up at the trees. Without thinking, he jumped up and grabbed a branch. He hauled himself up and reached for another. He was nearing the top and that encouraged him to keep climbing.  _

_ The teenager felt the sunlight on his face, his tears glistening in the sun. He looked around, the weather was nice, the wind was blowing and rustling the leaves. There were so many tall trees. sight of it all was relaxing. _

_ Evan was glad the last thing he would see was so beautiful. _

_ There was still a couple more branches above him, so he reached for them. _

_ His fatigue became known as he grabbed the next branch.  _ I’m doing this,  _ he thought.  _ Nobody would even care. Everyone would be happy about it. _ Evan closed his eyes and his grip on the thin branch loosened. _

_ It felt like he was falling into darkness as he plunged to the ground. _

Evan snapped back to reality and Connor was nowhere to be found. He sighed and decided he would keep visiting the Murphys.

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a vent? It’s related but not really. Sorry, I just had a rough day. Sorry this is kind of short.  
> also, not saying i wanna kill myself. just the feelings part. and trees. and sunlight.


End file.
